I’ve always had a rapport with older people, probably because my grandparents were a constant presence in my life.

Now my children joke that as I’m over 50 I’m in that category myself! Age, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

When you are a child, anyone over the age of 20 seems ancient. I recall as a shy five-year-old new entrant at school thinking that the 10-year-olds in Standard Four were grown up.

I was blessed in many ways to grow up with one of my grandmothers living with us. She was my mother’s mum. Her name was Ethel and she was in her 92nd year before she passed away. One of my earliest memories is snuggling up beside her in bed while she read me endless fairytales from my favourite book.

My parents were determined she was not going to be put into a rest home against her wishes, but as my grandmother aged and needed a lot more care I know it put strain on my parents’ relationship.

When she was 90, “Gar,” as I called her, broke her hip. Just four days after her hip operation she was returned to us by ambulance – incontinent and virtually immobile. It was a very exhausting time for my mother who, without any nursing experience, took on intensive caregiving. Regular visits from a district nurse were a lifesaver.

 Senility was also setting in and my grandmother rapidly deteriorated and became frail.Our lives had to be fitted around her as she couldn’t be left on her own. I can rememer as a young teenager at times feeling quite resentful of her presence because Mum, Dad and I couldn’t go out and do anything as a family.

My grandmother passed away peacefully in her own bed in her own home and I recall as well as grief there was also a sense of relief.

My grandad on my father’s side also lived to a “ripe old age” – 96. For much of his latter life he loved to spend three months at a time living with each of his children and their families. I always looked forward to his visits. He finally decided to go into a retirerment village in Rotorua and loved it because he said there were so many of his peers there who shared the same memories he did.

My mother and her twin sister turn 93 this September. Each still lives an independent active life in her own home.

Both still drive and they are both involved in church activities as well as community groups.

I think their secret, apart from being blessed with fairly good health and active minds, is their positive outward focused attitudes to life and their steadfast faith. 

In this month’s magazine we look at some of the wonderful services our churches are offering the elderly.

– Fran Pardon